By Rabbi Zischa Shaps

The story of Bilaam and his donkey always reminds me of the old joke of a woman who is pushing a baby carriage down the street. A passerby smiles and says, “May I see the baby?” He looks into the carriage and is shocked to see a tiny old man sitting there, puffing on a cigar. “That’s terrible!” the passerby says to the woman. “A baby shouldn’t be smoking a cigar!” The little old man looks up and growls: “Hey, buddy—am I bothering you?”  Hey Bilaam, am I bothering you?

When Bilaam set out to curse the Jewish people, his donkey saw an angel standing in the path and veered away three times. Each time, Bilaam struck the donkey. The third time, Bilaam’s foot was crushed against a wall, and he once again hit the donkey with a stick.

After the third incident, the donkey miraculously spoke and asked, “Why are you hitting me?” Bilaam replied, “Because you are mocking me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you.” The donkey then responded, “Have I not been your faithful donkey all these years? Have I ever behaved this way before?” Bilaam was forced to admit that the donkey was right.

Both the Chizkuni and the Seforno explain that the donkey was making a simple but powerful point: since this was not its normal behavior, Bilaam should have realized that something unusual was happening. Instead of reacting with anger, he should have stopped to consider why the donkey was acting differently.

Rav Avraham Yaakov Pam derives an important lesson from this exchange. Often, we see someone become upset or behave in a way that is out of character. How do we react? If our immediate response is to become angry or frustrated with that person, it may be a sign that we are not really paying attention. When a person who is normally calm suddenly loses their temper, our first question should not be, “What’s wrong with them?” but rather, “What happened to them?” This lesson applies not only to anger but to any unusual behavior. When someone acts out of character, it deserves our attention and understanding.

I remember an incident from my years of teaching when I sent a student out of class. The principal told the student, “Rabbi Shaps does not usually throw students out of class, so something unusual must have happened.”

Too often we rush to judge or blame someone when things go wrong. What if we took an extra moment to consider the circumstances? Is this person’s behavior typical? Is this individual, company, or organization usually responsible and competent? If so, there is a good chance that factors we do not yet know about are affecting their ability to perform as they normally do.

Good Shabbos,

Rabbi Zischa Shaps and the JET Team