In this week’s Parsha, we read the famous story of Cain and Abel.

Abel brings an offering to G-d – chosen from the finest of his flock – which is accepted. Cain also brings an offering; however, the offering he brings is from the inferior portions of his crop, and G-d does not accept it.

Cain is jealous – so much so, that he kills his brother.

G-d asks Cain, “Where is Abel, your brother?” 

Cain replies “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”

We may look at this and think: what a wild response! Such chutzpah!

But let’s be honest…

How many times have we blamed someone else for our problems?

Deflecting can be much easier than taking responsibility.

Rather than facing his own shortcomings (i.e. looking inward), Cain looks outward. Instead of sitting with the discomfort of his own failures, and trying to atone for his mistake, he acted out – violently – against the person who reminded him of what was right.

Feeling frustrated, and feeling angry at ourselves – hurts. 

As the saying goes, sometimes “Hurt people hurt people” (i.e. if a person is feeling hurt themselves, they go hurt someone else).

Logically, we know that the right thing to do is to look inward. But in the moments of disappointment in ourselves, sometimes we feel so bad that we don’t want to. We quickly release that negative energy, throwing it on to someone else! 

“It’s not my fault! I am not the problem”. 

Cain’s murder of his brother is an extreme example of this.

Most people don’t kill others out of jealousy…but many kill their chances at growth, by looking outward, instead of inward. 

It may hurt to face our own challenges. We may feel ashamed, embarrassed or afraid. 

Remember that we are all human. We all make mistakes, and the measure of a person’s greatness isn’t how many times one falls – it is how many times one gets back up! 

G-d shows us that we can grow; he says to Cain: “Surely, if you improve yourself, you will be forgiven”. 

G-d would not suggest that we do something impossible; therefore, we know that we have the capacity to improve. Each of us is an incredible soul – a spark of G-d – with incredible potential. 

The next time you feel tempted to point your finger outward at someone else, pause…and take a look inside first. 

Shabbat Shalom,

Danielle Altonaga