Has this ever happened to you?

You think everything’s ok, and suddenly you’re caught up in a confrontation!

It’s like a punch to the gut.

In this week’s Torah portion, Moses is challenged by his cousin, Korach.

Korach approaches Moses in a clear confrontation, along with more than 250 men from the Jewish nation. He accuses Moses and Aaron of being power-hungry, and claims that the two of them have no right to be in their positions of leadership.

This is an unreasonable claim, as Moses and Aaron had been appointed by G-d. They had been devoting their lives to the leadership and spiritual well-being of the Jewish people. A punch to the gut, indeed!

Moses “falls on his face” in despair1, as he knows that Korach and his followers are defying G-d’s wishes, and feels “powerless to appeal to G-d to forgive the people”.2

Then Moses does something very clever…

He says to Korach and the men: “In the morning, G-d will make known the one who is His own and the holy one…”

In the morning.

By putting the confrontation on hold until the morning, Moses buys everyone more time. He buys himself time to get over the shock, and to formulate a better response than he might have been able to give in the moment.

He also buys more time for Korach and his followers. He considers the possibility that they will reconsider their actions, if given some time to reflect on them.

Moses teaches us a great life lesson here.

If someone challenges you, especially in an aggressive manner, your instinct may be to challenge them back. This can result in remarks that escalate, until you’re in a full-blown fight, with long-term consequences.

It is often the case that, if given some time overnight to process what has happened, you can take a more strategic and calm approach to dealing with the situation.

Unfortunately, Korach and his men didn’t come to their senses (and the consequences were dire).

We can, however, learn from Moses’ impeccable leadership skills, and find a way to delay our response to a confrontation, instead of just acting in the moment.

While it may not lead to a resolution every time, we can at least feel confident that we did our best to de-escalate the conflict.

As a wise saying goes, “Don’t focus on winning the argument; focus on winning the relationship.”

Shabbat Shalom,
Danielle Altonaga and the JET Team

1 Rashi

2 Rashi: “They had worshipped the golden calf, complained for no good reason, and heeded the spies, and
each time, Moses had prayed for them. This was the fourth time they had defied G-d, and he felt that he could
not plead yet again.”