I started talking to people again recently.  I suppose I never stopped talking to people digitally, and there were a few people I spoke to in person during all the lock-downs, but multiple in person conversations a day is really novel to me right now.  As restrictions drop and people leave their homes, I’m left with the awkward realization that I’ve forgotten how to socialize.

What am I supposed to do with my hands now that people can see them?  How do I answer a phone call mid-conversation if I can’t mute myself?  Am I allowed to eat my sandwich at meetings now that I can’t turn off my screen to take bites?  What do I even talk about?

Reading through the Torah gave me some insight into this quandary.

We read the first paragraph of the Shema in the parsha last week and we read the second this week.  These sections, which we deem so valuable as to read them twice daily, each begin with a conjugation of the word “shema” [listen].  In fact, the word “shema” comes up in the book of Devarim an astounding 92 times.  Hashem wouldn’t write a word so frequently unless he really wanted us to pay attention to it. 

But what is so important about listening?

Well, in Hebrew, shema has a lot more meaning than just hearing the words that someone else is saying.  It could mean to listen, to pay attention, to understand, to internalize, or to accept.  It’s not just about words going into your ears; it’s about words penetrating your heart. 

You can see the Talmud use this word in several formations to show understanding: ta shma means come and hear [a proof], shema mina means hear [and make an inference] from this, lo shmiya lei means he could not hear it [and he disagreed]. 

Listening in Judaism is a synonym for understanding and opening your heart an idea.  And it’s apparently something the Torah very much wants us to do.

All that to say, I was making a mistake when I worried so much about how I was going to talk to people without practice.  What I really need to worry about is how to listen to people again. 

We’ve spent the past year within a small bubble connected to an echo chamber on the internet.  We’ve solidified our thought patterns and we are out of practice of listening to other people. 

When you run into someone soon, who you haven’t seen for the past year, don’t worry so much if the things you say are a bit awkward.  Worry instead that you pay attention to them and remember how to really listen. Really listen.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi A and the JET Team