How important is Derech Eretz? Is it simply good etiquette, or is it something much deeper?
The Torah teaches us that the respect we show others, especially in ordinary interactions, is not incidental—it reveals what is truly in our hearts. In this week’s parashah, a lack of Derech Eretz becomes the first sign of a much deeper problem.
The Book of Devarim records the final 37 days of Moshe Rabbeinu’s life. During this time, Moshe imparts to the Jewish people the lessons they will need to succeed in their relationship with Hashem as they prepare to enter the Land of Israel. He begins by rebuking them for the various sins they committed during their years in the desert.
When recounting the episode of the Spies, Moshe says, “And all of you approached me, and you said, ‘Let us send men before us, and they shall explore the land for us'” (Devarim 1:22). Rashi comments that Moshe was emphasizing the disrespectful manner in which the people approached him. The children were pushing the elders, and the elders were pushing the leaders.
Why is this detail so significant? Moshe is about to recount the sin of believing the spies’ negative report and refusing to enter the Land of Israel. Why mention the way they approached him?
Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin (the Netziv), quoting his father-in-law, Rabbi Yitzchok of Volozhin, explains that this lack of Derech Eretz (proper conduct) revealed that the people’s attitude was flawed from the very beginning. The problem did not begin when the spies returned with their report. Rather, their improper behavior at the outset demonstrated that they were already approaching the mission with the wrong mindset. When people are engaged in a worthy endeavor, they conduct themselves with respect and propriety from the start. If they behave improperly, it is a sign that something is fundamentally wrong with their intentions. The people should have recognized that their lack of Derech Eretz was itself a warning that they were headed in the wrong direction.
A central aspect of Derech Eretz is the way we treat one another. As we approach Tisha B’Av, we remind ourselves that the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam—baseless hatred. Sinas Chinam goes hand in hand with treating others disrespectfully and failing to value them. In our Parsha, Moshe is highlighting that the people’s lack of Derech Eretz was evident in the way they failed to show proper respect to their leaders and to one another. This attitude ultimately contributed to their refusal to enter the Land of Israel. The Jewish people cried on the night of the 9 of Av after hearing the report of the spies. Hashem decreed the ninth of Av would be a day of sadness and destruction for the Jewish people.
May we treat one another with honor and respect, conduct ourselves with Derech Eretz, and thereby merit the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash, speedily in our days.
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Shaps and the JET Team
