Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach used to tell a powerful story about “Yosele the Miser.” He was scorned by everyone in town for being notoriously stingy. No one had a good word to say about him. But the day after Yosele passed away, something strange happened: people started showing up at the rabbi’s house asking for help. Each person shared the same mysterious tale — for years, they had received anonymous weekly envelopes filled with just enough money to support their families.
Curiously, every one of them had once asked Yosele for help — and had been turned down. But shortly after each request, the envelopes had begun to arrive. The rabbi put the pieces together: Yosele had been secretly sustaining numerous families, giving quietly and without recognition. Only after he was gone did people begin to realize the tremendous kindness he had done.
This story may be extreme, but its message is painfully real: too often, we only come to appreciate people after they are no longer with us.
In this week’s parsha, Chukas, the Jewish people have been wandering the desert for nearly 40 years. They are now camped in a place called Kadesh. Suddenly, we read that Miriam, Moshe’s sister, dies and is buried there. And in the very next verse, the Torah states: “And there was no water for the congregation.”
Rashi explains the connection quoting the Midrash: For 40 years in the desert the Jewish people had been sustained by a miraculous “well” in Miriam’s merit. With her passing, the water stopped flowing.
The Kli Yakar adds a striking insight: the water ceased as a form of rebuke to the people for failing to appreciate Miriam. Over four decades in the desert, there is no recorded expression of thanks to her — not even at the time of her death. Only when the water stopped did they begin to realize what they had lost, and why they had it in the first place.
We learn two powerful lessons from this:
- When we receive something consistently — even something miraculous — we often stop noticing it. Blessings that show up daily can fade into the background, taken for granted instead of cherished.
- There are people in our lives doing extraordinary things, often quietly and without fanfare. It’s easy to overlook their efforts — until they’re no longer around.
Let’s not wait until it’s too late. Let’s make the effort to recognize the goodness in others while they’re still with us. Whether it’s a friend, a parent, a teacher, or a community member — take the time to notice, to appreciate, and to say thank you.
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Shaps and the JET Team
